20 Things I Want My Daughters to Understand About Being a Woman
1. Lady-like behavior is not weakness. It’s being gracious, kind, and hospitable. It’s having enough respect for yourself and consideration for others to dress modestly, speak kind words, and maintain self-control even when you’re angry. It’s difficult to be lady-like in today’s culture. But, it’s worth it.
2. Being a mother is an incredibly beautiful experience. But, there is much more to womanhood than motherhood. So, if you find that someday you don’t become a mother, go after your other dreams with all your heart, and seek God’s will for the path He has set you on.
3. You should never date a man that you already know you shouldn’t marry. Every marriage began with a first date. If you know he is bad news, if you know you are incompatible, if you know he isn’t a Christian, don’t go out on a date with him. Once you fall in love it’s hard to see clearly where your mistakes are being made.
4. Make it your goal to be healthy, not thin. There is more to life than dress size.
5. Don’t look to a man or me or any other human to give you a sense of worth. You are already worth more than all the fortunes of the world because God made you and He loves you. If you depend on people to make you feel like you matter, you will be disappointed. But, God never disappoints.
6. Life is too short to wear shoes that hurt your feet.
7. There will be things about your body that you will dislike for your entire life. Try not to obsess over them. Just remember that everyone else is too worried about their own bodies to think much about yours.
8. If you marry a dreamer, don’t kill his enthusiasm with negativity. Support his crazy ideas and love him through his successes and failures. Be his biggest cheerleader.
9. Setting conditions on your happiness will never lead to a happy life. Instead of thinking, “I’ll be happy once I get this or that,” determine to be happy where you are, as much as you can. It doesn’t matter what you drive or what kind of house you live in.
10. Crying is not the most effective way to get your point across, but if you are naturally a crier, embrace it. Let the tears flow, and don’t worry about what people think. All of the criers I’ve ever known endeared themselves to me immediately. (And, you come from a long line of criers.)
11. Try new things as often as possible, even if you’re scared. And especially if you can prove to someone that you’re not scared.
12. Women age faster than men do, especially if we birth and raise children. Men look distinguished as they age. Try not to let it bother you. The bright side is that we live longer.
13. Try to be sympathetic to the plight of men. If you marry a good one, he will work hard his whole life to take care of you. He will walk through the house at night, making sure that everyone is safe. Yes, even in this age of women who claim they don’t need to be looked after, he will feel responsible for keeping you and your children alive and happy. This is a heavy burden to bear, and one that women overlook too often.
14. Obsessing over housework is not only unpleasant for your family, but it makes others afraid to invite you over. Find a happy medium, and keep a neat house without letting it rule your lives.
15. It isn’t true that you don’t need friends once you are married. Keep close friendships with other women throughout all of the phases of your life.
16. It’s easy to get a martyr complex when you’re a mother. Don’t do it. Everyone you know is working hard and doing things that they don’t want to do on a regular basis. It’s part of being a grown up human.
17. Women are an essential part of church life. Don’t ever think that because you’re a woman you aren’t as important to the church or to God as a man is.
18. Don’t be afraid to love people. Women naturally feel things deeply, but too much fear of being hurt will keep us from giving ourselves away for the people we care about. You may get hurt. Love anyway.
19. Try to find the delicate balance between humility and confidence. Humility comes from knowing your own tendencies to sin; confidence comes from trusting that God can do great things through you. Women have a special gift for striking this balance.
20. God made you who you are for a purpose. He will use your unique gifts. Be grateful, love Him well, and trust Him to make you a woman with a heart like His.
